Tough Days

Today has been a hard day. I feel stressed and sad and tired and lonely. I had to leave my family down in CA and come back home to WA. I always miss my family when I leave but for some reason this time was extra hard coming home. I want to move to CA to be closer to my family but I have a number of things stopping me (like a job, hospitals for Emma's surgery, and the fact that I just like WA better than CA). We have been seriously considering moving down there after Emma's surgery is over though.

Last night while I was laying in bed, thinking about how I was going to have to leave in the morning, I felt very strongly that Heavenly Father has a plan for me. I felt like I could hear the words, "Right now you need to stay in WA, I know it is going to be hard. My heart breaks with yours. But I know what is best for you in the long run." I also got a strong impression that He felt what I was feeling and knew exactly how hard it was going to be but He would get me through it. He was there wanting to let me do what I wanted because I wanted it but because He is a wise Father He knew that it was not what was best for me.

So for now I will stay in Seattle and be far from my family because I know the Lord has a plan for me. I will gladly turn my life over to Him and do what he asks me to do because I trust Him. I know that it will be hard but with His help and comfort He will get me through it. I feel so strongly the words of the hymns "I Stand All Amazed" and "I Feel My Saviors Love" and I know them to be true.

I wish that I could write down in words all that I feel and know to be true, that my children would know it too. I am not a well spoken person and feel that I cannot write it or say it as strongly as I feel it but for anyone who reads this, I want you to know that I know my Savior lives! I want to shout my praises to Him frequently. I know that He is a Great and Good God! And most especially that He loves me and wants me to be happy just as He does for all of His children.

So at the end of this day, that has been a hard day all around, with a lot of things that haven't gone quite right and a day that I feel extremely sad, I want to say Glory to God! I am so grateful for all of His blessings. I am grateful to have all of my family here with me now and the opportunity to have them all for eternity. I cannot think of a greater gift than that. I love my Heavenly Father and hope that I can stand up and fulfill the plan that He has for me.